Repeating the Past

Sometimes I feel like as hard as I try, I can't undo the things about myself that I don't like.  The way I show stress when I'm with children is exactly the way my mother did. I never smile and I yank on their hair when I'm combing it.  The only words I say are warning the children not to do anything risky.  And then I sit and wallow and feel like shit.

I didn't understand her when I was little.  Maybe it's just the role of children to be confused by adults.  We assume we can do better when we grow up.  But can we?